But: Love doesn’t last forever

The success or failure of relationships depends on how popular you and your partner are. Creative artistes, emotionally volatile and difficult to handle as they are, are more likely than others to jump into relationships. However, that’s not to say mere mortals are any less discerning or changeable as far as their love partners are concerned.

In fact, multiple lovers do seem built into the very human DNA. Or, so says the Coolidge Effect. When a male rat is dropped into a box with a female rat, there’s an initial frenzy of sex between them. After a while, the male tires and his libido drop. If a new female rat is brought in, the male rat’s libido rises again. You can keep repeating this process with new females and it keeps performing till it almost drops dead with sheer fatigue. Female rats too flirt more with unknown, rather than known rats.

This phenomenon, known as the Coolidge Effect, is true of all mammals. Yes, even humans. And, amongst humans, it certainly seems to be truer! Surveys claim love doesn’t last beyond three and a half years. That is the maximum time one can be “in love” with another person. So what if the object of love changes — so be it if that’s the only way to keep romance alive! After all, what is it that kills romance? Why is it that the moment a relationship settles into normal companionship, the excitement peters out?

Coolidge Effect says it all boils down to the fact that sex with a new partner raises the dopamine levels, to the Don Juan curse, which says men and women are wired to look for newer partners in the hope of improving their genetic success in future generations. However, my personal favourite is what Robert Johnson, in his book “We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love” says.

He explains that the sparks that romance or attraction arouse are actually a yearning for a spiritual connect that goes beyond physical. As we settle into relationships, we forget to connect in a spiritual manner with our regular partners; the daily rigmarole of life sees to that. And so, if we find other ways to achieve that spiritual connect, dramatic highs that are present in a new relationship would be ours in our stable relationship as well.

As Posted by Santosh Kumar in The Himalayan Times

I love you

Everyone, read this as a very personal epistle direct, straight from the hips, both guns blazing - as always.

Spring has sprung. It's gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous out there. It's hard to just ramble on in the manner that I do without a clear picture in your head of the truly magical garden I've landscaped over the last couple of months. I don't have the words to paint a picture.

I want to thank you for being the magnificent person that you are. I want to thank you for the laughter you've brought me. I want to thank you for letting me be. I want to thank you for letting me feel safe enough to cry in front of you, or feeling safe enough to cry in front of me. I want to thank you for walking with me. I want to thank you for
the times you held me, sat with me, ate with me, cooked for me, let me cook for you. I want to thank you for including me in your life, letting me say when things were too much. Letting me grow and become.

Thank you for communicating or not, responding or not, knowing me or not, caring or not.

My garden I have been creating is a kind of ritual to walking through the wasteland and still laughing. It is a tribute to each and every person who has clapped for this faerie. There is a plant planted for every single person who got this faerie.

I am ecstatic that you're alive. I'm blessed to have YOU as a friend. I'm happy for the gift that YOU are and have been to me.

I love you very much.

As mass-mailed by a friend many months ago.